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Support with Anxiety

Anxiety is a normal and healthy human response to a feeling of being in danger. But for so many people anxiety is scary and at times overwhelming. It can take control of their lives, often leading to avoidance of social interactions, places and living life fully. Many people experience anxiety at such elevated levels that it impacts their everyday life.


The extent to which we feel anxiety varies depending on our perception of the danger. Although anxiety is common, we all experience it in a unique way and are affected by a multitude of different things. For one person this may be going out to a crowded place, for others it may be being alone that causes them to feel anxious. Often there is a thought or feeling that evokes anxiety.


Anxiety can affect our body, mind, and behaviour. When we experience anxiety unexpectedly, frequently or for no apparent reason, the effects on our body can feel frightening, and we can begin to think that something bad is going to happen. This in turn increases our body's response system and we then feel as if we are in real danger and a panic attack can occur. Experiencing occasional anxiety is natural, it's our brains way of getting us ready to protect ourselves. But chronic feelings of fear and constant anxiety is not. Anxiety is an immense problem for many people.



Understanding what's happening to our body when we become anxious gives us the opportunity to use coping strategies. These can start to counteract the effects, easing the discomfort and stress, helping us gain some degree of control.



What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal and healthy response to a perceived danger, fear, or threat to our safety. Experiencing a difficult life event, feeling under pressure or prolonged stress can also bring on anxiety. If we are about to be attacked by a savage dog or suddenly see the car in front braking sharply, we need to be able to respond quickly, automatically, and fast. In milliseconds a part of our brain unconsciously and automatically becomes engaged in protecting our survival and moves us in to fight or flight mode. Think of a gazelle startling, head up and scanning as it notices a lion nearby. Chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol are automatically pumped into our blood system preparing us to take action to survive.



Uncomfortable feelings can be experienced as the adrenaline makes our body's internal system speed up, diverting the blood flow to the bigger muscles of the body. This is preparing us to be strong, fast, and powerful, to attack (anger/fight) or escape (anxiety/flee). Can you remember a time when you thought you heard someone in your house, and you've jumped out of your skin, your heart races and you feel a surge of energy. Only to realise it's a family member and you calm down again. That's your survival brain in action, no thought, no control, an instant reaction.

Common symptoms can consist of:

  1. Heart beats faster and palpitations can occur. The heart is pumping more blood to the muscles, preparing us to attack or run away.

  2. Fast breathing and swallowing which helps transport more oxygen around the blood stream. A feeling of choking may sometimes be present.

  3. Feeling dizzy or lightheaded because we are breathing faster.

  4. Muscles tense as the blood sends oxygen to the arms and legs in preparation to fight or run.

  5. Eyes widen to improve vision, sometimes a blurred vision may occur from too much light entering the eye.

  6. Hands tingle and legs tremble or go to jelly. Blood is being diverted into the big muscles and small blood vessels constrict, causing the tingling, numbness, or trembling.

  7. The body heats up and sweats. When the body speeds up it rapidly heats up and we need to cool down again.

  8. An inability to think straight, clearly, or rationally. The front brain (that serves as the control center that mediates concentration, planning, decision making, insight, judgment, and the ability to retrieve memories) is hijacked and goes offline.


  1. Feeling fearful

  2. Feeling immense worry

  3. Feeling on edge

  4. Feeling irritable

  5. Obsessive or uncontrollable thoughts, irrational thoughts, Catastrophizing


  1. Avoidance of places, people, or situations

  2. Insomnia

  3. Social withdrawal

  4. Substance abuse


After the fear, threat, or danger has passed our bodies return to normal, but we may feel tried and weak. For some people, the anxiety can last for a prolonged period and results in exhaustion. Our bodies have used an enormous amount of energy to prepare for a fight for survival.



What Causes Anxiety?



The trouble with the human brain is that it can react subconsciously to any threat we perceive as dangerous, whether real or not. This may be something in the present moment, a future event or activated by an implicit memory from the past. Some people may be aware of what causes their anxiety such as public speaking, driving on busy roads or meeting new people. For many though there seems to be no obvious reason. This can be distressing and increase their sense of fear and worry. Feelings of uncertainty and having a lack of control can intensify the cycle of anxiety. A cycle where a person avoids their anxiety provoking experiences and as a result, those fears grow increasingly more powerful. Avoidance becomes a go to behaviour, and the anxiety continues to grow worse. Anxiety often prevents people from functioning fully in everyday life and can lead to feeling imprisoned by their mind.


Factors that contribute to anxiety are numerous and every person is affected differently. Housing, financial security relationships, employment, social engagement, and health can all have an impact on our sense of safety and increase anxiety. Medical experiences or long-term medical conditions, medication and drugs, prolonged periods of stress, traumatic past experiences, embarrassing experiences – even genetics may increase our anxiety levels. For some people It's often difficult to pinpoint what exactly is behind their anxiety.



How Counselling Can Help


Counselling can play a pivotal role in supporting people in understanding their anxiety. You can be supported as you explore what you are going through and how you feel. Through exploration of your experiences, you can begin to identify the possible root causes of your anxiety. How your thoughts, behaviours and beliefs may be impacting on or influencing your anxiety. Anxiety is born from a sense of not feeling safe, the therapeutic relationship builds a place of safety and can be the foundation for building a safer sense of self. You will be encouraged to build greater self-awareness as your counsellor supports you to find and learn ways of manging and coping with your anxiety better. This may be breathing or grounding exercises. Your counsellor can help you find what works best for you. Sufferers of anxiety sometimes experience embarrassment and shame which makes talking about their experiences difficult. A counsellor will be non-judgemental and will always try to understand what is happening for you, from your perspective.



Strategies For Helping Anxiety



Sharing your concerns and worries about your anxiety can be helpful. Telling a trusted friend or relative can provide support. And being heard may help you to feel better.


Looking after your health, eating well, avoiding alcohol and caffeine, having enough sleep, and taking regular exercise can all help you to manage your anxiety better.


Breathing


The physical symptoms of anxiety can be distressing and frightening, we usually find ourselves breathing from the chest area, like we would if we were running. Breathing deeply from the belly can be effective in helping with anxiety as it stimulates a part of the Autonomic Nervous System which helps to regulate and calm our internal system. Deep belly breathing alters our psychological and psychical state and brings us back into the safety of the here and now. This slows our heart rate down and we begin to feel calmer, present, and more in control.


The NHS gives details of how to use breathing exercises to help with anxiety.

This calming breathing technique for stress, anxiety and panic takes just a few minutes and can be done anywhere.


You will get the most benefit if you practice coping strategies regularly, as part of your daily routine. If you become familiar and confident with breathing exercises, you'll be able to use them in times of anxiety. Think of it as learning to ride a bike. If you can learn to ride well, when you come across some tough terrain, you'll have the skills to cope when things are difficult.


You can do breathing exercises standing up, sitting in a chair that supports your back, or lying on a bed or yoga mat on the floor. It can be done anywhere if you feel your anxiety rising.


Make yourself as comfortable as you can. If you can, loosen any clothes that restrict your breathing.


If you're lying down, place your arms a little bit away from your sides, with the palms up. Let your legs be straight or bend your knees so your feet are flat on the floor.


If you're sitting, place your arms on the chair arms.


If you're sitting or standing, place both feet flat on the ground. Whatever position you're in, place your feet roughly hip-width apart.


Let your breath flow as deep down into your belly as is comfortable, without forcing it.

Try breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Breathe in gently and regularly. Some people find it helpful to count steadily from 1 to 5. You may not be able to reach 5 at first.

Then let it flow out gently, counting from 1 to 5 again, if you find this helpful.

Keep doing this for at least 5 minutes.



Grounding Techniques


Using all your senses, sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell can reduce your anxiety by bringing your focus back to the present moment. Calming and regulating your internal body system.





Look for 5 things you can see, say them aloud. This could be a computer, a cup, or a picture.


Look for 4 things you can touch. This could be your hair, a chair, or a phone.


Look for 3 things you can hear. This may be the traffic, a clock, or a bird.


Look for 2 things you can smell. This may be your coffee, hand soap, or the air


Look for 1 thing you can taste. This may be your saliva, gum, or toothpaste.



Worrying is often connected with anxiety. All the what ifs, maybes and possibles can flood our mind. It can be useful to write down your worries on your phone or in a notebook, making a note of them can allow you refocus on the present moment. You can then revisit them at more appropriate time. Often people find that many of their worries have gone by the time they revisit them.


If you would like support for your anxiety or any other problem you are experiencing, please contact me for a free telephone consultation. We can briefly discuss your needs and you can decide if counselling could be beneficial to you.


Telephone 07360 287 003

If I am unable to take your call, please feel free to leave a message on my confidential voice mail and I will get back you as soon as I can.


Email michellecobbinfo@gmail.com







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