Bereavement & Grief Counselling

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Having been a Cruse Bereavement Volunteer, I have worked first hand with the complex and sometimes life-changing effects of grief and loss.

Although grief is something we all experience throughout our lives, living with grief can be one of the hardest challenges we face. When someone or something important to us is lost, the impact can reach far beyond the initial loss, affecting how we see ourselves, our relationships, our sense of security and how we imagine our future.

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Different Types of Loss

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Bereavement is the experience of losing someone important to us through death and is often considered the ultimate loss. However, grief can also occur when there has been no death.

The breakdown of a relationship, divorce, changes in employment, children leaving home, retirement, financial difficulties, illness, or significant life changes can all bring a sense of loss and grief.

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There are also the less visible losses that may not always be recognised by others. We can grieve for the loss of dreams, the future we had imagined, a past we wished we had experienced, our sense of identity, self-worth or the person we thought we would become.

For some people, openly expressing their grief may not feel possible. There may be social expectations, stigma, family circumstances or other reasons that make it difficult to talk about what they have lost.

Whatever the nature of your loss, your experience is personal to you.

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The Experience of Grief

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Grief is unique to each person. It is shaped by our lived experiences, beliefs, values and, importantly, the relationship we have lost.

There is no predictable pattern that grief has to follow. It can feel confusing, conflicting and lonely, and can affect us emotionally, physically and psychologically.

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You may experience sadness, anger, guilt, loneliness, anxiety or a deep sense of yearning. You may also experience shock or numbness, particularly in the early stages of a bereavement. At times, emotions can feel overwhelming and difficult to understand.

Grief can also affect our sense of security, identity and hope for the future. It can leave us questioning who we are and how we are going to live in a world that suddenly feels very different.

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You may notice physical changes too, such as tiredness, disrupted sleep, difficulty concentrating or feeling as though your thoughts are muddled. Many people worry that they are “not coping” or even wonder if they are going crazy because of the intensity or unfamiliarity of what they are experiencing.

These experiences can be a natural part of grief, but that doesn't mean they are easy to live with.

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There is no right way to grieve

You may have heard of the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. While these are often talked about in relation to grief, grief doesn't follow a set pattern and you don't have to experience these stages, or experience them in any particular order.

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Some people experience intense sadness and yearning. Others may feel anger, guilt, relief, numbness or a mixture of emotions that seem to contradict one another.

There is no right way to grieve and no timetable that you have to follow.

Your grief is your experience.

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How Can Bereavement Counselling Help?

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Counselling provides a caring, confidential and safe space where you can explore the thoughts and feelings that grief may bring. You don't need to have your grief neatly understood, and you don't need to know what you need from counselling. We can begin wherever you are, at a pace that feels right for you.

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My role isn't to tell you how to grieve or how you should be feeling. Instead, I will listen without judgement and offer you the time and space to explore your own experience.

Together, we can gently explore what your loss means to you and how it may be affecting your life, your relationships and your sense of yourself. Sometimes being able to put words to what you are experiencing can help you begin to make sense of thoughts and feelings that may otherwise feel overwhelming or difficult to understand.

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There may also be losses from the past that continue to affect you in the present. Counselling can provide an opportunity to explore these too, when and if it feels right for you.

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Grief may change over time, but that doesn't mean you have to forget, move on or leave someone or something behind. Sometimes counselling can help you find a way of carrying your loss while gradually rebuilding a life that feels possible to live.

You don't have to carry everything on your own.

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Taking the First Step

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Reaching out for support can feel difficult, particularly when you are already feeling overwhelmed or unsure about what you need.

If you feel that having someone to talk to would be helpful, please feel free to contact me to see whether bereavement counselling might be right for you.

You can call me on 07360 287003. If I'm unable to answer, please feel free to leave a message on my confidential voicemail and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

You can also email me at michellecobbinfo@gmail.com or use the contact form on this website.

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You don't have to know exactly what to say. You can simply make contact, and we can take it from there.

Warm wishes,
Michelle